faith

"it takes faith to see the answer in prayers"... strange. I always thought and was skeptical about prayers. How do i know that if someone prays for something, they just believe it's God, when it could be coincidental. After reading that quote, it gave me a better understanding about faith. The reason that ran in my skeptic head (still skeptic, more lazy), is now the reason that i can accept.

i just can't get you out of my head

"i ....just.......can't get you of of my head....boy your love... is all ...i ... think.. about......la la la... la la la la la.... la la la... la la la la la"

circular reasoning...
spiraling down and around
through different excuses
for the same delay and similar stray
from the once conceivable
...now to be later hardly believable?

the values of words are so unclear
misty smiles and focused eyes.
time fleeting and pleasure tugging brows
drowsy secrets that forget that they're alive.
dreams prickle the tip of one shoulder.
efforts that appeared indifferent.

The Missings.

I looked at our homecoming picture the other day, and I couldn't help but smile.
I wanted to keep the closeness
and later I didn't want to.
Now I miss it, I want it, maybe I need it.
How can I talk to you? With your
life and your friends and my friends and everyone who wants to talk to you?
we're not close anymore. It's so hard when you're not available, when i'm not available.

Blue and Orange are your favorite colors

I know I haven't been the greatest friend, even a good friend at that. I'm rude and cold, I find ways to make fun of you, leave you out of my life. I didn't want to dissapoint you, so I lied. Yet I knew it being good friends wouldn't happen so fast. I was still bitter for the longest time. I still don't feel that you'd ever think about me the same. I'll never be worthy of being a good person, or an even equal. Remember when you asked me what I'd feel I would lose if we were to part, and I said "someone I could go to for anything, a close friend" and you said "we'll still be good friends"? We're not anymore, that's the most important thing about us, and its not there. Maybe its supposed to happen like this, but I still miss how we could talk, how i felt like you wanted to know about things because you cared. It only feels like you want to know so you can be the 'good' person and show that you 'care'. I'd reach for you, but I'm beaten. I wish you would reach out to me. Or someone I can talk to. Yet theres no reason I should even believe that would happen. You never did.